I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
