I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
