he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Randomize
