Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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