At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
