At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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