Sry I called you an 8
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
it's great music for shaving your balls
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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