so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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