it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
try to milk me bitch
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
