Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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