Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
