Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
