yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
can u get pink eye on your cock?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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