sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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