I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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