i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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