i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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