I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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