If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
this hospital has no fireball
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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