So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
