Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
