I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
