why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
