I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
