He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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