Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
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