i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
