do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
