3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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