I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
