It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
