god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
