1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize