I cockslap morals
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
