I didn't shave. On purpose
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize
