trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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