Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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