just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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