Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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