hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize