I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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