you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
