Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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