I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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