It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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