Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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