Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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