My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
