My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You need Xanax blowdarts
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Randomize
