just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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