Small penises have feelings too.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
