I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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