how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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