Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
