If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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