Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
