I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize