Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
We're using joints as your birthday candles
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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