Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
