At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
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Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
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Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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