I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
