You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
