I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
a search helicopter?!
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
