I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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