My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
