i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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