please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
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