Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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